Oh S#*t!

That about sums it up.
We have just had our general, also known as, "harmonised" elections in which our long time leader and general bad guy, won by an amazing and overwhelming majority. Strange for a place where most of the population do not like him, his policies, his henchmen and his death squads. And yet!

With such an overwhelming support you would expect people from all over the country celebrating in the streets, jumping for joy, hooting and partying until the sun came up. Once again no!

The streets look like a scene from the latest zombie movie. Everyone is walking around shell-shocked, stunned, unable to crack a smile or even a polite hello. We are all stunned. And it does not take a maths genius to work out that with over 70% popularity, odds are you should see someone, somewhere celebrating. And I am not talking about the staged stuff on TV, that is done for the benefit of SKY TV News reporters. I am talking about the real life people on the ground, in the streets, the ones who actually voted.
It has been proven that a lot of rigging went on, it was known even before the election was held. The scale is phenomenal, so it now seems.
 Apparently, they had help from an Israeli company, who's own morals and governance are highly questionable too. Well, they did a fantastic job, perhaps too fantastic and made the winning margin a little too much!

And already the power cuts have started, the internet is going on and off and suddenly very very slow, cell phone networks are not working,fuel prices go up, followed closely by food etc. That's just 2 days into it. The backlash will be severe for the other 80% of the population that did not vote the right way, as opposed to the 70% that did.

The saddest part is the opposition who are crying foul and not doing anything about it other than taking the matter to court, ruled by the same self-rigging government, overseen by party loyal judges appointed the week before. Ten points to see where that ruling will head! Let there be mass demonstrations. They don't have to be violent. Get into the streets and let the world know that this is not what we wanted. By staying indoors or going to work and not doing anything sends the message out there that all is well and the people are alright with this. So far this sitting back has prompted endorsements from all over. Once again from questionable governments, but that's their problem to deal with.
The biggest critics send out "strong objections" and "deep concerns" hoping this will illicit a reaction and they will all come clean. Even before the elections the regional body said that elections should not be held so soon. He ignored that. His own judicial system said he could not hold elections so soon. He ignored that too, and then changed the judges. So now we all have to wait while the terror is just starting here. Endorsed by his surrounding peers, or more aptly his puppets, condemned from afar. The world will look on and say tut-tut to every atrocity committed and will "strongly" let their voices be heard while millions will die or starve to death waiting for the people who are "gravely" concerned about them, sit back in their comfy chairs, sipping oh so marvelous tea.

My advice to the world... shut up! If you cannot help a drowning man in the pool in front of you. Don't go shouting at him how unjust the whole thing is, and then sit back in your sun chair sipping a fruit cocktail. Either jump in and save him, or let someone else do that.

My first wish is to stay and build a life, but sadly I tick all the wrong boxes. Perhaps there's a new world waiting for me and my family elsewhere. It would be nice if it were on another planet, because, frankly, I have lost faith in this one.

Winter Browns

Winter is finally here... and it's not even cold. I just know because everything is bone dry.
All the leaves on the trees are brown and withered, the grass on the lawn is on its last legs. It beginning to cease looking like grass and looking more like soil.
Everywhere you look brown is the predominant colour. There are still a few stragglers mind you. The Poinsettia is blooming and adding a bit of red to the fray. My vehicle in the driveway is now a striking white,(that us until the dust settles on it again and it becomes a dull white and dusty car again). Even the cats have decided to take on that special brown hue as they roll in the dust and bring it into the house for all to share.
It's at times like these that I get very jealous of people in Europe and the like and wonder why are they bitching and moaning because it has rained non stop for the past 6 days. Although, after 6 days of non stop rain here, we would also be moaning. All we ask for is a shower a day, 20 minutes, 40 minutes tops. Just to keep everything green. Is that too much to ask for?
Apparently so!
But then.... the first rains of the season would not be the happiest time of your life. The smell, the refreshing feeling, the sharpness of everything around you as the dust has finally been washed away from the skyline. It is truly wonderful to be in Africa after the first rains have fallen.
I know it is only June now and the rains should only begin by the middle of November, but I am on countdown already. Waiting to see the world around me transformed. I am waiting to feel the sense of relief that we all share with the trees, plants, animals and everyone else. I cannot wait to see the wide expansive view of the brown treeline transform into a green canopy once more, eventually to disappear altogether as the foliage expands and once again we are surrounded by green. Oh happy days!
Now all I need is the patience to wait 6 months. But that's another sad story of wishful thinking.

Elephant in the Garden

Ahhh, Africa!
This morning I got up, stammered to the kitchen to make that first cup of coffee. It's the one that just gets everything moving. So while waiting for the kettle to boil I decided to sit on the small balcony and watch one of my cats run around the rocks, doing what they always do, hunt, stalk, pounce and bring daddy the remains of whatever creature was unlucky enough to be in the way.
So there I am, watching Cas, the major hunter out of all of them, blend into the rocks and make herself as flat as possible. Interested, I decide to lean out to see exactly what she has her sights on... bird... lizard.... mouse? No! It's a dassie... rock rabbit.... rock hyrax! A rodent looking creature, about 3 times the size of Cas, and with a really pleasant and soft nature.
There's a family living in the rear of the property among the large rocks and boulders that make up most of the back garden. They are vegetarians and do not do any harm to anyone, other than leave a massive amount of poo in an overhang at the back. I often wonder if their poo is valuable like guano and if so, I am so in the money.

So now you're wondering what's all this got to do with elephants in your garden?
Well, the rock hyrax/dassie/rock rabbit is the closest living relative to the elephant and thus we like to call them Africa's smallest elephants. They are active in the early morning and late evening and their main predators being Black Eagles and Leopards. Luckily for them there are neither in my yard, only a small black and white cat with grand delusions of being a vicious, blood thirsty feline of the Panthera Pardus (Leopard) persuasion.
There are a lot of reasons why not to live here, but there are plenty more as to why you have to live here. As long as that outweighs the reasons not to, I'll stay right where I am.... Or until something better comes along.

Referendum Time

It's referendum time in Zimbabwe this weekend. So what does it really entail for us citizens of this used and abused nation?
Well... for a start.... nothing! I am no expert in all things political, but experience tell me that whoever comes into power, seems to follow the same agenda as the previous administration. Being a politician is easy.
Keep the people ignorant.
Tell the people what they want to hear.
Do as you have always done and then claim, dramatically, how hard you work for the masses.
Become a martyr in the eyes of the people, while you really kick up your feet and do the least amount possible to ensure it looks like you are doing something.
Having looked at the key points of the referendum, there are some changes which will curtail the fat cats and their cronies (government officials), and there are a lot of points which ensure that all the thieves who have been financially raping the country, and region, will be safe from prosecution. It's a bit of a big boys club in the world of politics I guess.
Regardless though, I will be in line tomorrow, making my mark and hoping that it will somehow, in a very small  way, make a difference. It may not be much hope for myself, but it will definitely make a difference to my children. And that, in essence, will hopefully be the legacy I leave to future generations.
If it works, then you can thank me later.

Damn you Flu!

Just when I thought I had conquered the trials and tribulations of summer, I get the bloody flu. Sniffing, leaking, coughing, sneezing and incredibly miserable. That folks makes me a bona-fide male.
The world is coming to an end. I am already planning my funeral and how to ensure that all the people who screwed me in life will feel really, really shitty as my coffin slowly descends into the earth. I really hope that they feel remorse of immense proportions.
That is, of course, until tomorrow when I will most likely feel a little better (high on Vitamin C), and tone down my impending death to a DEFCON 4 status. Regardless though, I still want all those who screwed me to feel that pang of guilt and perhaps feel enough remorse to think about righting their wrongs in my life, and others while they are at it. It would be nice for them to think "Bloody hell, that was close, Markus nearly died from the common cold. Whew, perhaps we should do something to alleviate this guilt."
Then something comes on the TV and they forget it until the next time I feel like death warmed up.
Come to think of this I already feel better. Perhaps the survival instinct to stay alive to remind all those out there who really don't give a shit to perhaps start. And if you forget I will be there to remind you, possibly the next time I get sick and think about my immortality.

Happy Valentine's Day

Don't be put off by the hype of Valentine's Day. Although it shoves the idea of love down your throat, it's all about the commercial value. Buy our cards, buy a bunch of red roses for the extra special price of 25% more! Buy these chocolates, etc, etc, ad infinitum.
Ignore the barrage of messages telling you that you either don't have anyone to love or that you don't love anyone enough during the rest of the year, so now's your chance to catch up and be schmaltzy for a while.
Know this!
You are loved!
There is someone in this world that loves you, and not in the Valentine's sense. In the real sense.

There goes the Pope

I happened to turn on the TV just in time to see the news splashed with the Pope's resignation. At first I thought that a pope had to die in office (a lot like what all the world's dictators believe in.). But apparently this is about the 5th time in history this has happened and the last time was around 600 years ago.
I did not know what to feel when I first saw the news, but then I got a thinking.
Good for him. He feels old and weak and I guess he just wants to settle down somewhere and live out the rest of his life in peace, out of the reach of the world's media etc.
I am no Catholic and cannot fathom what the community is feeling like, but if it is anything like feeling like you  have all been let down, I would say don't. There are plenty of other worthy people waiting in the wings. Give old Benedict his peace. Perhaps he will start a trend among other leaders of large corporations and countries.
As I mentioned before, perhaps some, or even all, the world's dictators take a time to reflect this move and consider their own futures. How about taking time off to go fishing? Leave all the money grabbing, torture, human rights violations, natural mineral wealth decimation etc, to all your fat cats and henchmen. Or... even better, take them with you and all go retire to some island in the middle of the ocean, where you can be as despotic as you like. Just think, you will have the adoration of all those around you, and this time it will be real adoration and not made up figures that your spin doctors manage to bullshit you with.
Now back to the pope.
Well done. Go in peace, enjoy your remaining years on this world.
Auf Wiedersehen Herr Ratzinger.
Addio il Papa

Where's the money?

How far can you believe the media, or even worse the government, the Zimbabwe government to be more precise? Just last week they claimed to only have $217 left in their bank account, after paying salaries and all. 
Personally I find this very difficult to believe, since they are probably just waving the begging stick again hoping for some rich nation to feel sorry for them and throw them a couple of bucks their way, so they can still pay for groceries or spend it getting pissed in their local pub.
If anyone is that bad at managing their finances, then they are certainly in no state to run a company, let alone a country. (Well it goes a long way to understand why this country, as much as I love it, is in such a messy state.)
But I still digress. I think that they do have the money and if not try looking in the secret (and not so secret) bank accounts of all the ministers and fat cat leeches that parade themselves around town in fancy, overpriced vehicles. They are draped in bling and carry such a massive amount of arrogance, it makes prima-donnas seem comparatively Mother Thersaesque.
Get the money from them! They earn (steal) millions of dollars a month that feed their insatiable greed. Let them pay their electricity bills, rates and taxes and water bills.  
There are millions being earned from the large diamond and mineral deposits around the country. If that money could only bypass their back pockets and actually reach the intended destination, perhaps there might be money to... say.. fix the roads, maintain power plants, etc, etc. You know, all the stuff other governments do with the money they get.
I am not saying that they are all corrupt... oh wait, sorry, I am! 
For too long they have been able to run this country like it was their own personal ATM. But that time is coming to an end and the future looks very rosy this side. They will most likely squirrel their money away and run at the first sign of collapse. I just hope that they all manage to get caught and their money taken away from them. Then they will have to live their lives like ordinary citizens. Methinks that would be a fate worse than Hell.

Technology... pffft!

I like to think of myself as a progressive, open minded individual, able to leap over a PC tower in a single leap, whiz over a keyboard with consummate ease and navigate my way through enchanted bits and bytes of the technology jungle. Sadly, this is by no means true.
Take this blog for instance. I set it up with the idea of writing down my most inner thoughts, well inner enough to share with the world, not all should be shared. The idea was simple, visit the site as often as possible and share.
That is until I completely forgot how the hell I got here in the first place and then forgot about this place altogether. It is only now, after some playing around because I am bored and there is utter rubbish on the TV, that I managed to find my blog again.
I am extremely happy mind you. I like the fact that I can write down things that may be read by people other than myself (and my alter-ego - Misguided Technology Man).
So let's see if my brain has absorbed enough memory cells on how to navigate my way back here. If not... look out for the misguided idiot pecking away at a keyboard, talking to a computer screen and huffing and puffing uncontrollably. That could well be me... or about 86% of the world computer using population.
Later.